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IRVING, Texas - With his father in a coma and doctors offering little hope for recovery, Washington Redskins cornerback Shawn Springs has needed football more than ever the last month.
Practices and games have been the only ways of escape from his sorrow. Until now.
On Sunday, Springs will play at Texas Stadium against his dad's old team, the Dallas Cowboys. Memories of his dad, Ron Springs, will be everywhere, probably dredging up some long-forgotten stories.
"I grew up being at Texas Stadium, being at the locker-room," said Shawn Springs, who was four when his dad was a rookie in 1979, and nine when Ron left to finish his career in Tampa Bay. "Tony Dorsett, Everson Walls, all those old Cowboys are our family. I used to wear Cowboys pyjamas and stuff like that. So going down to Texas Stadium might be a little tough."
The Springs saga puts a new twist on this old, bitter rivalry. Under these circumstances, Cowboys fans have to be rooting for Shawn and Redskins fans hoping the best for Ron. Of course, that won't have anything to with the scoreboard Sunday.
Dallas comes in 8-1, tied with Green Bay for the best record in the NFC. The Cowboys want to keep piling up wins before their showdown with the Packers a week from Thursday. The Redskins (5-4) are coming off a loss to Philadelphia and need a big win to buoy playoff hopes.
The feud between Dallas and Washington was as intense as ever when Ron Springs broke into the NFL and found himself sharing the backfield with Dorsett and Roger Staubach. A good blocker, runner and receiver, his most important role might have been his leadership in the locker room; ringleader is probably a better term.
A few years into retirement, Ron was diagnosed with diabetes. The disease took its toll, eventually gnarling his hands and costing him his right foot and several of his left toes.
His outlook soared in February when he received a kidney donated from Walls, his former teammate and close friend. It was the first known transplant between teammates in the United States, and they happily became advocates for awareness of diabetes and organ donation.
They testified on Capitol Hill and served as honourary captains for the Cowboys opener, which also served as the launch date for their Gift for Life Foundation. Walls helped Ron Springs get out of his wheelchair and salute the crowd, a moment Shawn regrets having missed; after all, he was playing his own season opener that day.
"When he stood up in the middle of the field and waved, it was one of the most exciting parts of his life that I can remember over the last 10 or 20 years,"' Shawn said.
In early October, Ron had a cyst removed from his arm. During a follow-up operation Oct. 11, he lost oxygen and lapsed into the coma. More than a month later, the prognosis is bleak.
"They're telling us, pretty much, that at best my dad would probably be a vegetable," Shawn said.
Ron's wife, Shawn's stepmother, may soon face a decision of whether to remove life support. Shawn's stance was clear during a 20-minute conference call with Dallas reporters Wednesday; throughout the interview, he referred to his dad in past tense and said he was "at peace about the situation."
"I feel whatever happens, whether God comes and he wakes right up or it's his time, I've accepted that my father is in a better place and it was meant to be," Shawn said. "I just have faith. I'm also very real about the situation. Not many people have ever awakened from this type of coma and the lack of oxygen. ... Whatever decision she makes, I'm quite sure it'll be the right decision."
Shawn played two days after his father became comatose, then flew to Dallas. He has made two more trips, usually arriving Monday and leaving late Tuesday. His plan for this weekend was to focus on football until after the game, then go straight from the stadium to Medical City Hospital.
"I'll get Dorsett or somebody to give me a ride," said Shawn, who plans to again remain in town through Tuesday night. "I know it's going to be a very emotional week, a tough week, because the holidays make it more difficult."
Dorsett and Walls have been among the many regular visitors to Ron Spring's bedside. Tony Hill, Eugene Lockhart, Robert Newhouse and Calvin Hill have visited, too.
"That first week, it was like a Cowboys reunion," Shawn said. "It's a loss for the Cowboys' family. When one of those guys goes down, all those guys are hurting."
Among the things Shawn picked up from his dad was that a man's word is his bond. Ron also liked to say, "Whatever you do, work really hard at it and try to be the best."
And, as anyone who ever knew or saw Ron can attest, he believed in a strong backbone and an even stronger sense of humour.
"He was always joking about something. Even in the most serious times, he would be joking about it. He was like, 'If this happens to me, do this, do this and do this. OK? Now, who y'all got this week?"' Shawn said, laughing.
Shawn does his best to keep the banter up during his visits. Although his dad "looks like he's asleep," Shawn updates him on the Redskins and the Cowboys and his beloved alma mater, Ohio State. He's already broken to him the news about the Buckeyes' loss to Illinois. He's also asked his stepmom to turn Redskins games on the television in Ron's room. He expects it will be tuned into the Cowboys game Sunday.
"I can hear him now saying, 'You let T.O. catch a pass on you?' I can hear him now talking smack if (that happens)," Shawn said, laughing again.
The Redskins' secondary is missing two starters and a top reserve is playing in pain, so they need Shawn Springs as much as ever these days. Teammates appreciate and admire how he's juggled everything.
"He's handled himself so well, he actually makes us forget about what's going on," Washington defensive end Phillip Daniels said. "He's laughing, joking around with the guys. We keep his dad in our prayers all the time. I think it will be tough for him, but if anybody can handle it, he can."
It was the once dashing, well - endowed and latterly thoughtful young man born with a golden spoon in his mouth who had whatever or whoever he wanted for his comfort and satisfaction, that left the world with these immortal words: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven….” Yes, “… a time to plant and a time to uproot…a time to tear down and a time to build,….a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace”. (Ecclesiastes, 3: 2-8).
And when all had been said and done by our “Allegro” (John Milton) man, he ends up with his admonition in Chapter 12 of the same book in the “Holy Bible”, thus: “…Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.” (Chapter 12:13-14)
Why is this column recalling these words from the great King Solomon, which may well have spiritual parallels in the Holy Koran? The answers are in Nigeria’s current public affairs.
Nobody can doubt the wisdom in the King’s College Lagos, School Song, which partly states that : “Present, past and future, form one mighty whole…”
And so, when people, especially those in the “centre of power” – not just its corridors - begin to express anxieties over current happenings and also give cautious warnings to those they think are going off-course, it behoves them to remember that “there is no smoke without fire” and, in any case, that “every effect has a cause”, as any elementary philosopher can assert.
It’s already well known that in his keynote speech at last week’s conference of judges, President Umaru Yar’Adua had advised the judiciary “to shun the temptation of basing their judgments on popular sentiments,”and to avoid “playing to the gallery.”
That statement has, not surprisingly, generated perhaps more reactions than any other made by Mr. President since May 29. And one-millionth of the citizenry have said nothing yet.
No one raised an eyebrow when the President consistently harped on his “rule of law” and “due process” philosophy, hallmarks of his Administration that are already yielding good fruits in terms of national image and personal credibility. But when he used words like shunning “temptation” and basing judgments on “popular sentiments”, obviously, he had some nerves rattled: When a man who does not talk much yells (however silently), people worry.
Some have said the President’s statement “was a planned and deliberate attempt to intimidate the Nigerian judiciary and the elections petitions tribunals”; others have “advised” him to “withdraw his statement in the interest of peace and justice”.
The most vocal and sensitive political party in the land with respect to taking positions on public issues, the Action Congress (AC), said last Wednesday that “Yar’Adua’s warning to the judiciary, at the opening of the All Nigeria Judges’ conference in Abuja on Monday, amounted to a subtle harassment of the Judiciary. Accusing the judiciary of playing to the gallery, shortly after a string of judgments that reversed some of the so-called victories of the PDP in the last polls, is nothing but a way to strike back at the judiciary, especially the election petition tribunals, “ said the party’s hawkish National Publicity Secretary, Lai Muhammed.
For the first time, someone has called the president either a rattle snake, or a boar constrictor that methodically but steadily squeezes its captives to certain death. The strategy is first to knock them silly and, like Mighty Igor (where is he now?) arrange to land the pin-fall, and the demolition is then assured.
Only President Umaru Musa Yar ‘Adua knows his own mind; others can only guess its contents or intentions, and the current controversy over his pronouncement in the judicial theatre will be cleared by what he says or does in the next few days.
What needs to be said, without any fear of contradiction, is that those who believe in the rule of law and due process must always be mindful of certain facts: That they cannot afford to be equivocative or “double speakers” – saying one thing, and encouraging the doing of another. They must stay the course, or forever lay themselves open to criticisms of hypocrisy, deceitfulness, untrustworthiness, and of being unprincipled.
Even the president cannot but agree with prophet Isaiah’s view on sin, confession and redemption, when he said: “… for your hands are stained with blood, your fingers with guilt, your lips have spoken lies, and tongue mutters wicked things. No one calls for justice; no one pleads his case with integrity. They rely on empty arguments and speak lies; they conceive trouble and give birth to evil … “
Obviously, again, the Holy Koran must be full of wise sayings like these, but are they guides to proper behaviour by many of the leaders here?
Long ago, William Shakespeare, in his “Macbeth,” painted the picture of the dilemma to which President Yar ‘Adua indirectly alluded, when, in the course of executing the murder of King Banquo, Macbeth soliloquized thus: “…But here, upon this bank and shoal of time, we’d jump the life to come. But in these cases,
We still have judgment here; that we but teach Bloody instructions, which being taught, return to plague the inventor: this even-handed justice
Commends the ingredients of our poison’d chalice. To our own lips…” (Macbeth, Act 1, scene 7).
There we are! People inevitably reap what they sow. And there can be no wishing away the judgment of history.
That is where most African leaders miss the point, because they care mainly about the comforts and pleasures of today, forgetting that their thoughts and actions will be supremely judged tomorrow, or sooner than later. And they then begin to run from pillar to post, looking for salvation in the wrong places.
Back to the headline: Is it not logical that “do- or- die elections” must be followed by do - or - die decisions? That those decisions, acknowledging and re-enforcing the democratic doctrine of the separation of powers, cannot be made by those who, in the first place, gave “instructions” for “do – or die-touches” to the April 2007 elections?
Is it not true that, as in 2003, those presented for elections by some political parties were hand-picked by the high and mighty, and not through the known democratic processes? Does anyone doubt that the clauses of the Electoral Act 2006 and the Federal Constitution were not faithfully followed before and during those elections, as was honestly admitted by the President himself? This is indeed the time to uproot bad plants and practices and build again from surer foundations. A time for the critical decisions.
And talking about “the gallery,” we are all there. The judiciary serves everybody, so the gallery idea is neither here nor there.
The Judiciary should be allowed to do its constitutional duties without veiled threats, and freed from the financial (or apron) strings of the Executive. That is another, and assured, path to political stability in the land. There should be no beating about the bush on this matter.
Wilson and Noth have been dating for some time an have no immediate plans to get married. Noth’s business partner, Noel Ashman, said the ‘Sex and the City’ actor is “very happy” about the baby.
Meanwhile, Noth is filming the first ‘Sex and the City’ movie. He plays Mr. Big who is Sarah Jessica Parker’s character’s love interest.
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DHAKA (AFP) — More than 1,100 people were killed when a powerful cyclone smashed impoverished Bangladesh with huge waves, severe winds and torrential rains, and hundreds more are missing, a report said Friday.
Cyclone Sidr, described as the worst storm in years to hit disaster-prone Bangladesh, crashed into the southwestern coast Thursday night before sweeping north over the capital Dhaka.
The private UNB news agency, quoting unofficial local sources, said over 1,100 lives had been lost and more than 300 people were missing.
Government official Kazi Mokhlechur Rahman, of the home ministry control room, put the the confirmed death toll at 612 and climbing with 192 people unaccounted for.
Wind speeds of 220-240 kilometres (140-155 miles) an hour were recorded as the storm -- visible from space as a huge swirling white mass that moved north from the Bay of Bengal -- left a trail of devastation in poor rural areas.
Earlier, a government official said reports were yet to come in from two districts known to have been worst hit -- southern Barguna and Jhalokati -- because of communication problems.
"We are expecting many dead bodies will be found there," he said.
Most of the victims were killed when trees crushed flimsy homes made from bamboo and tin. In Madaripur district between Dhaka and the southwest coast, an AFP reporter saw devastated villages, one after the other.
Local businessman Mollik Tariqur Rahman told AFP that 80 percent of the homes in his village had been flattened.
"I cannot describe how devastating it was. It was like doomsday, the most frightening five hours of my life. I thought I would never see my family again," he said.
A navy spokesman said five ships had been dispatched with supplies of food, medicine and relief materials.
The European Commission said it was sending 1.5 million euros (2.2 million dollars) in emergency relief aid to the country.
"Preliminary indications are that the most pressing needs will be food, safe drinking water, emergency shelter, clothing, blankets and medicine," Commission spokesman John Clancy told journalists in Brussels.
Rescue workers, however, had yet to reach many remote areas, and roads, telephone lines and power supplies were also cut.
"The electricity went off across the entire country," said Mohammad Iqbal Hossen of Bangladesh's energy ministry.
The storm forced hundreds of thousands of people to spend the night bunkered down in a network of special shelters set up by the government to avoid the mass casualties of previous disasters.
Experts described Sidr as similar in strength to the 1991 storm that triggered a tidal wave, killing an estimated 138,000 people. Another cyclone in 1970 killed up to half a million people.
The head of the Bangladeshi meteorological department, Samarendra Karmakar, said the shelters as well as an evacuation programme should spare the country mass casualties.
"We are expecting less casualties this time because the government took early measures. We alerted people to be evacuated early," he said.
Neighbouring India, which was also bracing for disaster, escaped the worst.
"It's a great relief to us," said the relief minister in India's eastern state of West Bengal, Mortaza Hossain.
About 100,000 villagers in coastal areas of West Bengal were returning home Friday despite heavy rain after being evacuated to temporary camps, he said.
The state's finance minister, Asim Dasgupta, said one man was killed and over a thousand mud huts destroyed on the Indian side.
The storm, which reached Dhaka early Friday, later weakened and crossed the northeastern Sylhet district.
It was expected to progressively lose strength before ending on Saturday just south of the mountain kingdom of Bhutan.
Joe Nuxhall, the youngest player in major league history and the beloved "Ol' Left-Hander" on Cincinnati Reds radio broadcasts, died late Thursday following a bout with cancer, the team said this morning. He was 79.
His family was with him when he died at 10:55 p.m. Thursday at Mercy Fairfield Hospital.
Nuxhall's relaxed delivery, his down-home style and his occasional slip-up endeared him to Reds fans throughout the region. They knew the Hamilton native was one of them.
"The thing that stood out about him as a broadcaster was how excited he would get," said former Reds shortstop and one-time team captain Barry Larkin. "He was a Reds fan through and through."
Former Manager Jerry Narron said Nuxhall's death is a loss far beyond the Cincinnati Reds community. "He affected not just the Reds or the fans, but anybody who ever met him or came in contact with him," Narron said. "His reach went way beyond the Cincinnati Reds. He had a lot of energy, and he was a very caring person."
“Losing Joe Nuxhall is like losing a piece of our city,’’ said Fairfield Mayor Ron D’Epifanio. "Not just our city, but the whole area. He was one of the kindest people I’ve ever met.’’
Tributes came in on the message boards on the Reds' Web site.
"My friend and I met Joe at Redsfest a few years ago, and he was such a nice person and was kind enough to take time and answer a few questions we had for him," said one poster. "In light of what's been going on the last few days in the baseball world, I am glad I have fond memories of someone who brought nothing but integrity to the game in so many different ways."
His longtime partner and fellow broadcaster Marty Brennaman met Nuxhall in 1974. They worked together full-time for 31 years.
"I learned an awful lot from him," Brennaman said today.
"I learned a large measure of humility from him, and how to carry whatever success I've has as a broadcaster in Cincinnati from him. Our relationship was unique. You can count on one hand the number of times he and I were ever angry at one another."
The last time they were together was last Friday, when they played golf at Kenwood Country Club. "He was very weak and really didn't play much. He rode in the cart," Brennaman said.
"But he was in great spirits. He was upbeat and laughing. I've never been around a person who had such a great resolve to live as he did. He's been battling this stuff, and he's had some tough years. But he was always upbeat and enjoyed life."
Nuxhall's health problems had multiplied in recent years, but they couldn't keep him away from the game or the broadcast booth for long. He had surgery for prostate cancer in 1992, followed by a mild heart attack in 2001.
The cancer returned last February, when Nuxhall was preparing for the Reds' spring training in Sarasota, Fla. The broadcaster called some games last season even though his left leg was swollen by tumors.
The Hamilton native and longtime Fairfield resident was admitted to the hospital on Monday with pneumonia, a low pulse and breathing troubles. He had been receiving chemotherapy for his fourth bout of non-Hodgkin lymphoma.
He was scheduled to undergo surgery for a pacemaker, but that had been delayed because of his health problems.
Meanwhile, leaders from across Butler County were calling for residents to vote daily for Nuxhall to win the Baseball Hall of Fame's Ford C. Frick award, the top honor given to baseball broadcasters.
After recounting the former Reds pitcher's contributions to baseball and the community, County Commissioner Gregory Jolivette called on residents to "vote for Joe" daily at the Hall of Fame Web site, aiming for a million votes. Recently, billboards went up across the area urging the same thing.
Nuxhall appreciated the effort, Brennaman said.
"That was something he really wanted," said Brennaman. "It would have been something for him to be in the broadcasters section. I know when he made the final ballot last year, that in itself was a great honor for him.
"One of the many things about Joe that made him stand apart was any kind of accolade and outpouring of affection from fans genuinely surprised him. When he had his heart attack, there was an outpouring from fans, and he was amazed that people thought enough of him to show their affection."
Steve Stewart, who worked as a Reds radio announcer for three years before moving to FSN Ohio to broadcast Reds games this past year, said Nuxhall lived a "storybook life" and became synonymous with the Reds organization.
"When I first arrived in town, Marty told me Joe Nuxhall was the most popular person in this city," Stewart said. "He turned out to be right. If you think of Joe Nuxhall, you think of the Cincinnati Reds."
Earlier this year, the combined Hamilton and Fairfield city councils renamed Forest Lake Lane in honor of Joe Nuxhall.
About 50 community leaders and residents gave Nuxhall a standing ovation as the street sign for Joe Nuxhall Way - on the border between the two cities - was unveiled while "Hamilton Joe" sat in disbelief, shaking his head at the Fairfield Community Arts Center
Nuxhall retired as a full-time radio broadcaster after the 2004 season, the 60th anniversary of his historic pitching debut. After his broadcasting career slowed, Nuxhall became involved in community causes.
He helped raise money for scholarships, raised money for One Way Farm, a juvenile residential center in Butler County and helped launch the Joe Nuxhall Character Education program in area schools. He lent his name and stature to numerous other community efforts.
“I’ve never seen Joe turn down anybody for any request,’’ D’Epifanio, the Fairfield mayor, said.
His partnership with Brennaman was rich. The pair described the Big Red Machine's two World Series titles in the 1970s, Pete Rose's return as player-manager and then banishment for gambling in the 1980s, and another World Series championship in 1990.
He was always upbeat, said Narron. He would come down on the field during batting practice, and had a glow of enthusiasm about him: "Being a manager, when things are going well, everybody wants to come around and pat you on the back. Joe wasn't around much then. But when things weren't going well, when we were losing, that's when Joe would come around and try to pick you up."
Nuxhall's place in baseball lore was secured the moment he stepped onto a big-league field. With rosters depleted during World War II, he got a chance to pitch in relief for the Reds on June 10, 1944.
No one in modern baseball history has played in the majors at such a young age - 15 years, 10 months, 11 days old. He got two outs against St. Louis before losing his composure, then went eight years before pitching for the Reds again. "When you think of all the individuals that played at the major league level, and you're the youngest in the history of the game and in the Guinness Book of Records, it does make you in awe of it," Nuxhall said on the 50th anniversary of his debut.
He got the chance purely by chance.
Nuxhall was still too young to shave when the Reds were looking for wartime replacement players. They came to see his father, Orville, who pitched in a Sunday league in Hamilton.
Nuxhall was big for his age -- 6-foot-3, around 190 pounds -- and could throw 85 mph. The Reds offered a contract, and Nuxhall's parents let him join the team when junior high classes let out in 1944.
He spent most of the time watching from the bench, assuming he'd never get into a game. The Reds were trailing Stan Musial's St. Louis Cardinals 13-0 after eight innings on June 10, 1944, when manager Bill McKechnie decided to give the kid a chance.
Nuxhall was so rattled when summoned to warm up that he tripped on the top step of the dugout and fell on his face in front of 3,510 fans at Crosley Field. He was terrified when it came time to walk to the mound.
"Probably two weeks prior to that, I was pitching against seventh-, eighth- and ninth-graders, kids 13 and 14 years old," he said. "All of a sudden, I look up and there's Stan Musial and the likes. It was a very scary situation."
Nuxhall walked one and retired two batters. But then Nuxhall unraveled -- Musial got a line-drive single, and the Cardinals scored five runs. The young pitcher failed to get another out.
"Those people that were at Crosley Field that afternoon probably said, 'Well, that's the last we'll see of that kid,' " Nuxhall said.
The Reds sent him to the minors. Eight years later, he was back with the Reds, picking up on a career that eventually got him into the team's Hall of Fame. He spent 15 of his 16 big-league seasons with the Reds, going 135-117 before his retirement in 1966.
A year later, Nuxhall started doing radio broadcasts, describing games in a slow-paced, down-home manner that caught on with listeners. Brennaman became the play-by-play announcer in 1974, and the "Marty and Joe" tandem spent the next 28 seasons chatting about their golf games, their gardens and some of the biggest moments in franchise history.
Niki borrowed her father’s Porsche with out permission on Oct 31 of last year. According to police Niki was going 100 mph when she clipped another car, causing her to smash into a concrete toll booth. She was killed instantly.
The photos show Niki’s decapitated body still strapped into the car. Soon after Niki’s death her parents began receiving e-mails and text messages of the photos. A fake MySpace page had been created for Niki and quickly became a site to view the photos.
The pictures quickly spread around the internet and appeared on almost 1,600 sites. The family has hired a company to take the pictures down.
Lesli said is got so bad she stopped getting on the internet of checking unfamiliar e-mails. They took their 16-year-old daughter out of school to prevent her from seeing the pictures. “I don’t want to see these every single day. And you know, I take a risk every time I go on the computer,” said Lesli.
When some of the world's leading religious scholars gather in San Diego this weekend, pasta will be on the intellectual menu. They'll be talking about a satirical pseudo-deity called the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whose growing pop culture fame gets laughs but also raises serious questions about the essence of religion.
The appearance of the Flying Spaghetti Monster on the agenda of the American Academy of Religion's annual meeting gives a kind of scholarly imprimatur to a phenomenon that first emerged in 2005, during the debate in Kansas over whether intelligent design should be taught in public school sciences classes.
Supporters of intelligent design hold that the order and complexity of the universe is so great that science alone cannot explain it. The concept's critics see it as faith masquerading as science.
An Oregon State physics graduate named Bobby Henderson stepped into the debate by sending a letter to the Kansas School Board. With tongue in cheek, he purported to speak for 10 million followers of a being called the Flying Spaghetti Monster — and demanded equal time for their views.
"We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it," Henderson wrote. As for scientific evidence to the contrary, "what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage."
The letter made the rounds on the Internet, prompting laughter from some and vilification from others. But it struck a chord and stuck around. In the great tradition of satire, its humor was in fact a clever and effective argument.
Between the lines, the point of the letter was this: There's no more scientific basis for intelligent design than there is for the idea an omniscient creature made of pasta created the universe. If intelligent design supporters could demand equal time in a science class, why not anyone else? The only reasonable solution is to put nothing into sciences classes but the best available science.
"I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; one third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence," Henderson sarcastically concluded.
Kansas eventually repealed guidelines questioning the theory of evolution.
Meanwhile, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (FSM-ism to its "adherents") has thrived — particularly on college campuses and in Europe. Henderson's Web site has become a kind of cyber-watercooler for opponents of intelligent design.
Henderson did not respond to a request for comment. His Web site tracks meetings of FSM clubs (members dress up as pirates) and sells trinkets and bumper stickers. "Pastafarians" — as followers call themselves — can also download computer screen-savers and wallpaper (one says: "WWFSMD?") and can sample photographs that show "visions" of the divinity himself. In one, the image of the carbohydrate creator is seen in a gnarl of dug-up tree roots.
It was the emergence of this community that attracted the attention of three young scholars at the University of Florida who study religion in popular culture. They got to talking, and eventually managed to get a panel on FSM-ism on the agenda at one of the field's most prestigious gatherings.
The title: "Evolutionary Controversy and a Side of Pasta: The Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Subversive Function of Religious Parody."
"For a lot of people they're just sort of fun responses to religion, or fun responses to organized religion. But I think it raises real questions about how people approach religion in their lives," said Samuel Snyder, one of the three Florida graduate students who will give talks at the meeting next Monday along with Alyssa Beall of Syracuse University.
The presenters' titles seem almost a parody themselves of academic jargon. Snyder will speak about "Holy Pasta and Authentic Sauce: The Flying Spaghetti Monster's Messy Implications for Theorizing Religion," while Gavin Van Horn's presentation is titled "Noodling around with Religion: Carnival Play, Monstrous Humor, and the Noodly Master."
Using a framework developed by literary critic Mikhail Bakhtin, Van Horn promises in his abstract to explore how, "in a carnivalesque fashion, the Flying Spaghetti Monster elevates the low (the bodily, the material, the inorganic) to bring down the high (the sacred, the religiously dogmatic, the culturally authoritative)."
The authors recognize the topic is a little light by the standards of the American Academy of Religion.
"You have to keep a sense of humor when you're studying religion, especially in graduate school," Van Horn said in a recent telephone interview. "Otherwise you'll sink into depression pretty quickly."
But they also insist it's more than a joke.
Indeed, the tale of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its followers cuts to the heart of the one of the thorniest questions in religious studies: What defines a religion? Does it require a genuine theological belief? Or simply a set of rituals and a community joining together as a way of signaling their cultural alliances to others?
In short, is an anti-religion like Flying Spaghetti Monsterism actually a religion?
Joining them on the panel will be David Chidester, a prominent and controversial academic at the University of Cape Town in South Africa who is interested in precisely such questions. He has urged scholars looking for insights into the place of religion in culture and psychology to explore a wider range of human activities. Examples include cheering for sports teams, joining Tupperware groups and the growing phenomenon of Internet-based religions. His 2005 book "Authentic Fakes: Religion and American Popular Culture," prompted wide debate about how far into popular culture religious studies scholars should venture.
Lucas Johnston, the third Florida student, argues the Flying Spaghetti Monsterism exhibits at least some of the traits of a traditional religion — including, perhaps, that deep human need to feel like there's something bigger than oneself out there.
He recognized the point when his neighbor, a militant atheist who sports a pro-Darwin bumper sticker on her car, tried recently to start her car on a dying battery.
As she turned the key, she murmured under her breath: "Come on Spaghetti Monster!"
